Funny Penis Nicknames

While “penis” is the medical term, it is also the term some of us use the least to describe our neighbor downstairs (see what I did there?). Here is a list of 140+ best funny penis nicknames:

  • The Basilisk
  • Lap Lizard
  • Peeta Mallark
  • Milkman
  • Kielbasa
  • The Baby Leg
  • Jarhead
  • The Devil Dog
  • The Missile
  • Cupid’s Arrow
  • Willy
  • Mount Visuvius
  • Fat Albert
  • The Sword
  • Shaquille O’Neal
  • Spank Aaron
  • Excalibur
  • Swaggy P
  • Schlong
  • Moby Dick
  • Lincoln Log
  • Dick
  • Enter Sandman
  • Meat Popsicle
  • Vlad The Impaler
  • Rumpleforeskin
  • Love Shaft
  • Garden Hose
  • Dill Pickle
  • Peter
  • Slim Jim
  • Tasmanian Devil
  • Jordan And The Bulls
  • Tri-Pod
  • Sniper Rifle
  • Energizer Bunny
  • Voldemort’s Wand
  • Wee Wee
  • Lightsaber
  • Yao Ming
  • The Solider
  • Head Of State
  • Louisville Slugger
  • Johnson
  • Twinkie
  • Joy Stick
  • Zeus’ Lightning
  • Subway’s Meal Of The Day
  • Dora The Explorer
  • Trouser Browser
  • Tally Whacker
  • Alvin And The Chipmunks
  • Ivan The Terrible
  • Hotdog
  • Skin Flute
  • Gonads
  • Weenie The Pooh
  • Drago
  • Peter Dinklage
  • Kim Dong Un
  • The Giving Tree
  • Weiner
  • Baby Maker
  • Harry Houdini
  • Dick Cheney
  • Richard & The Twins
  • Sperminator
  • Taco Torpedo
  • Party Pickle
  • Sex Pistol
  • Thor
  • Fuck Truck
  • Dingaling
  • Puff The One-Eyed Dragon
  • Tonsil Tickler
  • Battle Of The Bulge
  • Dagger
  • Allen Wrench
  • Girth Vader
  • Shaft
  • Womb Raider
  • Mushroom Head
  • King Dong
  • Elmer Glue
  • The Jonas Brothers
  • Chief Of Staff
  • Action Johnson
  • Big Dipper
  • Earthworm
  • The Sperm Factory
  • Prick
  • Javelin
  • Poseiden
  • Jackhammer
  • Downstairs Neighbor
  • Nimbus 2000
  • Dipstick
  • Ring Ding
  • Bratwurst
  • Harpoon
  • Eggroll
  • Kickstand
  • Bayonet
  • Knob
  • Mario & Luigi
  • Pecker
  • Private Eye
  • Rod
  • Sausage Link
  • Sir Thrustsalot
  • Banana
  • Ring Ding
  • Python
  • Trouser Snake
  • The Alamo
  • The Magic Bullet
  • Kraken
  • Limp Bizkit
  • Wonderboy
  • Beef Thermometer
  • Pistol Pete
  • Goliath
  • Anaconda
  • The Torpedo
  • The Sniper
  • Axe
  • FedEx Package
  • Ken Stiffy Jr.
  • Sperm Worm
  • Lethal Weapon 3
  • The Tree Of Life
  • Aladdin’s Magic Carpet Ride
  • Gunner
  • Nutty Professor
  • The Magician
  • Wilt The Stilt
  • Russell The Love Muscle
  • Cuban Cigar
  • The Closer
  • D Train
  • The Insemenator
  • Dong
  • Hollowpoint

Funny Penis Nicknames

Men are fascinated with their penises, so having a nickname for it should not come as a surprise to anyone. [1, 2]

Funny penis nicknames can be used as an instead joke between you and your partner, by a patient to help lighten the mood during an embarrassing or awkward visit with a doctor (or am I confusing this with the plot to a porn?), as the punchline to good joke, and much more.

Keep Reading: Achieve Mind Blowing Orgasms With These Prostate Massagers

Passionate nympho’s might even have names for their favorite dildos, fleshlights, or even sex dolls.

This article was written without influence from any other party. All opinions are our own and all research was done independently without a medical license. The information in this article should not be treated as medical advice. There are some affiliate links present in this post.

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